I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
