i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
