i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize