i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
