when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
