i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
