i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
