Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
