You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?