i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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