I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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