Dual....:-)
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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