Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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