I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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