I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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