I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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