dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
