Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize