There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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