Cold hands, warm shart.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
