you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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