i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
