Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
