I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
