Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
