Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
