I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
