Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
