I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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