Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
