dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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