Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i drank out of a bidet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
