I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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