i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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