i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
