I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
