my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no you cant smoke seaweed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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