remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
