i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
