I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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