Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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