Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
