we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
