So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
