Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
