Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
