she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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