You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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