im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
