I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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