the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
