i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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