Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
