what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
