Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
