sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
