So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she smelled like a LAN party
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
