Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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