so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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