I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
